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My problem is I can’t stay mad. I always end up forgiving people, even when they don’t deserve it.

→ mentally ill: To those ignorant of mental illness.

tatteredsanity:

You know that feeling when you’ve almost completed a 10,000 piece Jigsaw puzzle only to find out that then that you’re missing a few pieces? Or when somebody carelessly comes about and interferes, scattering the pieces everywhere?

That’s what mental health problems are like.

The nature of…

I think tonight is supposed to bother me. I’m supposed to get upset, that after this many years with you, this many ups and downs, trials and tribulations, through anything and everything; I’m supposed to be upset at myself and at my actions. It’s justifiable that you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. But you know what? I’m putting aside the fact that I fucked up SO much and created this hell for myself to say congratulations. Congratulations Brennan Michael Monnat, my ex best friend, on your high school graduation. You might not be in my life anymore but when you were, you were the biggest part of it and I’ll never forget our memories both good & bad because that’s what has made me who I am today. I hold nothing against you and I wish you the best of luck with your future. You are everything a girl could ever want in a best friend. I hope that sooner rather than later you’ll enter my life again on better terms. But until then, all I have to say is congratulations, good luck & thank you for EVERYTHING. Watch out world, here comes one of the most ambitious, level headed, kindest, and of course stubborn young men I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. I will always love you & carry part of you with me wherever I go. You’d had a lasting impact on me and you’ll be in my heart forever.

i don’t know what’s going on between us anymore. i don’t know if i should try and put us behind me or keep holding on. every conversation just gets me more and more confused. some days it seems like we’re falling back to how we were, to how wonderful it was. and then some days it seems like i’m just not important. it’s a really confusing place to be. i don’t know how to fit the pieces together. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do. all i know is that thinking about anyone else having you hurts. it hurts so much i can hardly stand it. and that feeling is one of the ones that keeps me holding on so strong…

i hate being in this position. i’m forcing myself to let go of the one person i need in my life. you’re the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. i know that i’m better off without you, but i feel empty whenever i try to let go.

maybe it makes sense now. maybe somewhere in all of this there’s a reason. maybe somewhere in all of this there’s a why. maybe somewhere there’s that thing that lets you tie it all up with a neat bow and bury it in the backyard. but nothing, not getting angry, not prayers, and not tears, nothing can make something that happened unhappen.

i kept waiting on a reason and a call that never came. no, i never saw it coming. something in you must have changed. all the words unspoken, promises broken.. i cried for so long. wasted too much time, should’ve seen the signs.. now i know what went wrong. i guess i wanted you more.. and looking back now, i’m sure i wanted you more…
-Wanted You More — Lady Antebellum-

i try to talk to you, but i don’t know what to say. i am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. so i don’t. but inside of me there are words waiting to come out. and tell you how i feel; like how i miss you. and how i love you despite my broken heart. and how i need you in my life. and especially how much i want you. but those words may forever stay in my heart; locked inside. sometimes i wonder if there are words locked inside you too.. but i’ll never know…

she’d learned the hard way that ignoring a situation didn’t always work out for the best.



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